Honoring Bryce

From Bryce Aubrey Zeiner

Dianna's hands cradle Bryce.

In the rising of the sun and in its going down,
We remember Bryce.
In the blowing of the wind and the chill of winter,
We remember Bryce.
In the opening of the buds and in the rebirth of spring,
We remember Bryce.
In the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of autumn,
We remember Bryce.
In the beginning of the year and when it ends,
We remember Bryce.
When we are weary and in need of strength,
We remember Bryce.
When we are lost and sick at heart,
We remember Bryce.
When we have joys we yearn to share,
We remember Bryce.
So long as we live, he too shall live,
For he is now part of us,
As we remember Bryce.

These words were read today at Bryce's funeral. Deborah, a family friend and Rabbi, lead a peaceful non-denominational ceremony reading passages from Psalms and Ecclesiastes. Dad, Mom, and Grandma Mouge shared their thoughts (including Bryce's gifts) and although there were tears, there were also a few smiles.

Bryce's funeral was a very sweet and personal ceremony, only 8 people attended. The sun was at full glow and the grounds were beautiful. Bryce is buried at Mount Tamalpais Cemetery in the shade of a tall Redwood tree directly next to his grandfather Arthur Zeiner. Hundreds of small white flowers were placed in the ceremony and at the grave. They included tulips, spray roses, baby orchids and blue bella donnas -- all fragile and small just like our Bryce. We placed an Elvis lunchbox beside his casket that were filled with mementos for him.

• Elvis lunchbox- For Baby El, purchased after 9 week ultrasound
• First present for Bryce - a baby rattle picked out by Zane the weekend we found out we were pregnant. The rattle had 2 soccer balls on it, one on each end.
• Newborn green and white striped socks and soft green lamb finger puppet -- also purchased after 9 week ultrasound
• Dill pickle - for the extreme cravings you gave Mama Zeiner (eating 3-4 a day)
• A piece of chocolate from Mother's Day
• "Sling Bling"- a rhinestone cross with hearts that Gus gave me for Mother's day. It was to be clipped onto my baby sling.
• Small blue truck from cousins Dana and Jessica
• 3 rocks from Zion National Park (place of our wedding) - one for Gus, Dianna and Zane
• Painted art from Zane - Zane quietly painted one afternoon this past week, giving mom time to reflect
  
• Small picture book of family
• Words from Baby of Mine lullaby - sung to Bryce in womb and after delivery
• Bryce's foot and hand prints
• A letter from Mom

There are a few ancient Jewish traditions that Gus and I agreed to do to honor Bryce. At the beginning of the ceremony, you take scissors to cut and rip your clothes, right over your heart as a sign of mourning. The modern tradition is to have a black ribbon pinned and cut this, but Gus and I decided to acknowledge the original intention. Gus wore his wedding suit and the linen shirt was torn. Dianna wore her blue bridesmaid dress, the same dress for Zane's first Easter and the one she wore this Mother's Day. These outfits were worn on our happiest occasions and to celebrate. They had meaning to us and will be saved in a keepsake box. Also by tradition, all who attend walk from the chapel to the graveside. Family members carry the casket as they walk. Gus led and carried Bryce in his arms the whole way. Mom walked barefoot, a homage to Jesus' journey and the sacrifice he made for us. The distance was only about 0.25 miles, short enough for all family members to walk, but long enough to contemplate our sorrows. After the graveside service, family and friends bury the dead (not strangers), honoring by physical labor. This is perhaps the hardest emotionally to view and do, plus it also takes time. The entire service lasted 3 hours. This time honors the deceased but allows reflection during mourning and sometimes gives peace. Bryce was buried by love from his family in attendance. We honored Bryce today.

Be at peace, our sweet baby boy. You will be remembered.

These past 2 weeks have been emotionally draining, and we are still in complete shock. Since this weekend happens to be our 6 year anniversary, we decided to continue with at least part of our plans. Although we will not celebrate, Gus, Dianna and Zane will travel to Yosemite National Park for a weekend of solitude and reflection. We thought it was appropriate since Bryce was named after our love for National Parks; it is yet another way to honor him. We will escape from the city life, including phone calls, email and blogging. You will not hear from us until at least Monday.

We also wish to thank everyone for all of the support. We have received heartfelt emails, cards, blog comments; flowers; food; and even presents for Zane (too sweet). Although we have not replied to many, know that we have read your words and received your gifts. You have been so amazing, we are truly blessed and touched by your love. We do not feel alone in our sorrow.

Please know that we still have stories we want to share with you, although we do not yet know when we can write about them. For example, Bryce's baptism was not conventional and a story worth sharing. Today when we returned home after the funeral and opened our mail, we received Bryce's baptism certificate and a note from the Chaplain. Mom wept.

All our love,
Dianna, Gus, and Zane